liFes.a.paRaDize

2004-09-08T06:32:00.000-04:00

hmmms... so long before i entered a post.
was so bz durin tz whole hols, i haven even touched my hw!! well, i was at nco 4 almost e whole week. its quite fun! met many new pple, fm e hardworkin ones, right 2 e very "lac" kinda person. Hmmms!! So im not e only playful & crazy kinda person? hahax.
Got close w ma aunt's sista, dionna! shes a real sweet gal manx, shes oso e bm of her sch, serangoon sec! Hahax. so coincidental! LUCKILY she was ard, or i wil be so so so anti social! next was jennifer tay fm SWISS, not fm YT. Hahax. shes 1 matured kinda person, think she haven shown her crazy side. cos she seems not natural in her, stern kinda attitude. Hahax. juz gotta know a gal fm whitely, her name's............ 4got!! hahax. shes pretty cute...
The clarinettists re so so pro, their sound's so nice!! though its not e peak, but compared w ma own sectn, heaven & earth... :)
Many of us signed up 4 e display band at e end of e yr. its gonna be so funn! im feelin reallie excited mans... i wanna b in there, marching & forming different kinda formations... w so many other interestin pple. Maybe i could find a true fren within them? hahax. ANXIETY!!
Hahax. think e activities re so muchs better than e drum major course. COOL!!! :)

obviously, theres e bad side of life, grandma fell dwn, went in2 hospital. shes act staying in my house nw, my rm!!!! e oil's so strong!! then shes like, havin wht kinda disease, keep shouting & shouting... woke me up fm my nap!! which totally sucks!!!!! cannt stand... ma rm's destroyed agains though i made e effort 2 pack it. sucks... juz reallie sucks. dun she has other children 2 take care of her? it has owayz been us us us!!!! tz crazy mans...

covered up by my darling though. :)
not sures why but i seemed 2 love him more tz few days.. not sure if he cann act feel it but i reallie so. he had been so stressed up due 2 his work. but i cannt be there 4 him cos of ma nco camp thing. feel so sorrie...... hope he wil brighten up.. cos theres oways a brighter side of life... SMMOOCHESSS ...

frustration + depression + disillusion

2004-08-30T09:15:00.000-04:00

whts happenin? i dunnoe.. fm band.. 2 frens.. seems like only studies & relationship standin quite strong. Hahax. Hw great...
I feel so disgraced & embarrassed w my own band.. why? hahax. actions speaks louder than words. discipline.. everythng. nth reallie rox. whts gonna happen next? seems like only God almighty knows. Im sorries.. all my ex seniors, esp leaders... sorries mr chew.. sorries my parents.. etc.. most importantly, sorries mr paul low. i dunoe wht else 2 say. all i cann say is tt i wont gv up tt earlie.. i will push 2 e end.. then it wil determine whether its fate.. or wht ve i done wrong...
Next.. frens.. i reallie dunoe wht sm ppl wann. she said she wanna get outta grp.. hahax. go ahead.. i mean.. if u cann find frens, true frens i meant.. cos its so hard 2 find nowadays. hahax. reallie sucks big big time! go.. go.. backstab us again. hahax. c whether who gains in end? i make sure i get rid of u but e rest ll stil be standin firmly on e ground.. hahax. it wil be e case babe.. im sorries.. but i think every1's born w an equal amt of evility & kindness. HAHAHAX.
well, whts gonna happen next in my life? hahax. FATE.. where re ya? pls help me rights? love yas...
everythn in my life's goin e wrong direction.. where re u God?? pls come rights? i need ya badly...
God bless e world.. i love u!

2004-08-01T06:59:00.000-04:00

Its raining heavily now, e feelin of enjoyin tiz weather under e cosy & cuddlin blanket was wht i did. Hehex. Yeas... Came back fm swimmin ard 4? was driven outta pool by e weather, crying 4 me? Hope so. It was quite oks, swam a few laps alone.. Lie back on e coolest water, drifting back, tryin 2 search my soul. Did i reallie change? i dunnoe.. "yes" & "no" are fighting against each other in e lil brain of mine, nth but peanuts. there's term test tmr, poa... studied? yes... i guess. Browsed through & hardly c a need 2 studie....

Yday's was our 16th month anniversary.. went 2 seoul garden... It was delicious! Hahax. Ks.. I cannt be so serious anymore. But i meant every word i said..!!

Reallie hope i cann search back my soul & return 2 my hardworkin mind.. cheers!

tired!!

2004-07-24T10:31:00.000-04:00

O Gosh.. Juz came back ard 9 + ? 'd a perf at hillgrove sec sjab passing out parade.. So tiring ks? hahax. But i reallie thank God... 4 makin chew not angrie w us. He was reallie scarie last night ks, ... juz called me.. i heard tt we only ve left w 3 drummers.. even threatened 2 quit... hes so badd.. say such BAD stuffs 2 me, not 2 lina.. hehex. well, at least he did his best 2 like, makin sure he dint mean anythn he said 2day! Kekex. Jeremy arhx.. ALMOST crop up ks? he reallie has 2 learn arhx. I know im like, tellin everyone hw much i dislike him, i doubt i'll be able 2 be so heartless... Hmmms, it concerns bout e band anyways. Heex. Then sat down, talk 2 chew while the others went 2 get sm stuffs... during e break. told me & rae loadsa thing. Hahax. count me luckie or whteva, wht chew's reallie a wise man.. young at heart. & updated etcs... Hehex. im juz stating e facts!! Yeas..
Well, darling dint come down 2day.. i know whys.. though i acted blur. he was much 2 afraid 2 c things tt he dun wish 2 c.. i know its hard, 4 him.. but i reallie 've 2 do my jobb... i know he'll understand.. he owayz does, tts y i could like sustain tiz relationship till like 15 cm 16 months? hehex. Tt sweet lil guy.. kekex. *muacks darling!! love u 4eva..
Tmr still ve 2 go & fetch my long long... *dunnoe whose tt uncle 2 e airport at 5!! then go my grandparents house.. its gonna be another very very borin day ks?? wanna bet.. sucks like hell!! arghsss... no choice.. its owayz like tt.. e adults, sit ard e table, play mahjong.. kids? play among themselves.. maids? help 2 do e houseworks.. me???? they still kept saying im like a pig, kp sleeping.. but 've they eva thought of.. why m i doin so?? its so darn bl**** boring there ks? maybe i 'll meet up w sm ppl then go orchard & walk ard manx.. cannt stand!! reallie!! help!!!

2004-07-14T08:48:00.000-04:00

Its been quite a long time b4 i typed in2 tiz blog. Hmmms.. Days? I guess its been quite oks.. But i think i might ve been 2 concentrative in band & kinda neglected my studies quite a bit. I realized i dunnoe hw 2 do ma chem calculations. sigh~ cannt afford 2 not do well 4 tiz term.. sobss~ Its a wed nw, i juz did ma chi compo.. no one familiars online! so bored.. guess im gonna crack ma brain 2 figure out hw e heck 2 do e stupit cupid chem laters. Its been realli exhaustin! Guess all e band members 'll think so rights? perf comin 1 after another.. sjab, safti, ndp parade... Whaoz~ its been long since we'd tiz kinda exhausted feelin. Hehex. Luckily! e members 're commited arh.. or i reallie wont know wht 2 do ks? *phew~

I conducted e band 4 warm ups 2 day. Its so wierd. Hehex. E feelin was great but i was nervous at e same time.. heex. come on.. tiz my 1st time yeaz? Kekex. mmms... im like waiting 4 chew's call...! he said he wanna confirm w me sth, but dint call.. not sure if i should go call him instead arhx.. wht if hes angrie? wht if he'd forgotten.. arghx~~ Hw!!
Next, ma darlin hubbie went 4 band 2day.. its gonna end at 9.. 9pm!!! sucks arhx. im waiting desperately 4 him now.. but he cannt even afford 2 give me a msg.. its 853.. 7 more mins seems like 7 yrs! Hw!! Its e first few wks in poly, yet hes oreadie so stressed up... i reallie dunnoe wht 2 do.. sob~ he has black circles round his eyes but both of us cannt not chat 4 a night... cos we simply miss each other 2 much... o gosh.. he has so many hws.. & frens kept telling me tt in his poly, there're many pretty gals.. hw can i not doubt him.. i wanna say sorry hubbie, but i juz cannt help worryin.. tt i'll loose ya.. but i cannt face his front & tell him so. he'll definitely go like.. i wont!! i wont!! my class's full of nerds.. hw can! but im still worried.... very... Hes 2.. he said sm kinda guy is goin after me... but tt guy knows me kinda well, im deeply in loved w sta.. hw can i possibly go w him.. its not as if im unattached or we havin sm kinda water fall relationship.. i reallie feel like cryin smtimes.. cos i 've neva loved any guy so much, cann say im desperate 4 him or smtimes. but i cannt help daydreamin every single moment.. tt we get married.. start our own family! its a everyday thing ks? plzzzzzzz... i wann time 2 pass faster!!

2004-07-04T10:03:00.000-04:00

I love tiz day, 03/07/04! Gosh.. We'd such gd times 2gether tt no 1 can eva imagine it could be had w a bro w ya orights? Hehex.
Me, hubbie & bro went causeway 2 watch spiderman 2, its a so-so show, not very fantastic. Yeas, 2 much violence & e animations kinda 2 fake? But well.. its gets a 3/5 ratings 4 me. (",)
Back on track, we were huggin in e cinema, cos i was kinda cold.. Yeas. Then we headed hm, 2 take our stuffs then go swimmin! Hehex. ya dint hear wrongly, swam w stallone.. Kekex. & ma bro 2.. Heex. Its so funnie.. He kept carryin me up & down, i was practicaaly shouting e whole pool through.. Hehex. Then i was on e verge of freezin 2 death till i decided 2 swim ard.. Hehex. he looks quite oks.. not very fat, not very thin.. Hehex. i had baby fats though.. kekex.
then i ate hot fudge.. heex. after exercising, should be able 2 reward myself 4while rights?

nw im sitting here, feelin a lil down 2 cold manx.. sneezed juz nw, & so cold arhx. kinda wish im sick ks? it feels great cos ur like e cripple.. best part, able 2 skip sch! Hehex. Bad GAL!!
& yea.. my hubbie, dun allow me 2 make a 2nd earhole arhx.. he said i'll look like a bad gal.. but i kinda ve e urge 2 try on.. sigh~ guess've 2 be a gd gal then.. Hex.

SMOOCHESSSSS

2004-07-03T11:07:00.000-04:00

2days.. im aint sure if its a gd day or a bad day. cos those bad stuffs took cover 4 themselves. 1stly was durin band pract, we assumed tt we're able 2 leave, & so we did. In e end? we got scolded.. sigh~ but luckily, mr chew wasnt mad at us! 2ndly, almost lost ma hp! i left it in e cab, luckliy a lady was kind hearted enough 2 pick it up 4 me arhx. or.. sighz~ last of all, ma mumm kept remindin me 2 off e lights when i go out tiz morning, in e end, i dint. but she dint reallie attack me. phew!

Gd or bad? let God decide..
e syf's so nice & bloodieeee cool! Gosh, their stamina's wonderful.. theres even a sch playin sod. cann ya believe it? we cannt even stretch when we were at e comp last yr, & they 're playin outdoor arhx. GosH!! & tanjong katong's drum major's so darn cool.. but its such a pity, he dint win. Deyi got it! howeva, they still won 4 e best display band of e yr arhx. Hehex. ROCKS! but their GOH reallie arhx. we were waiting at e kfc, they kept snatchin placs fm us. we'd 2 wait 4 half an hr ks? singaporeans.. sigH~~~~~~~~

ma parents. think we havin sm kinda of life clash tiz few days. i kept gettin angrie w them! maybe cos they wanted 2 buy me a phone but till now, nth.. or whteva else... GOSH! i dun mean 2 hate them, in fact.. i love them.. but juz realie dunoe wht happened... siGH~

2004-07-01T05:49:00.000-04:00

2days e 2nd day im addin sth here. It was so bored in sch.. i was practically sleepin through e el tests? hahax. i think., passin? big prob! Hahax
Anyway, there might not be band on sat..! Cos theres whteva o levels listenin compre arhx. hmmms.. gonna miss ma instrument! im aint like sm kinda heartless band mem!! But we'll be goin 2 e syf thing. Gosh! Kinda shocked tt mumm act letting me go tiz time! Cos its in e evening.. Hahax. So excited! its been long since i went out w ma frens arhx.. long long long! gonna get ma cam.. Heex.
Well, nth reallie interesting happened 2day.. its no funn at all.. hope there might be smthn reallie sweet? romantic? blahz~ 2night.. hahahahahaX! *winks*

2004-06-30T08:37:00.000-04:00

Ma 15months aniversary 2day! Heex. Its so romantic orights? Not exactly, cannt celebrate it properly.. How i wish we could go sm kinda poshy resturant!! Hahax. It'll be so so swweeeeet!! HEex. tt 'll happen, say 15 yrs tm? hahax. It'll!! So many stuffs 2 talk bout but cannt reallie say it out loud. every1 cann see!! Tiz blog thing.. I dun even know how 2 ya know? make it more interesting.. Like download songs in2 it or whtsoeva! Its so complicated.. Juz like LIFE.. Hahax. Sick as eva.
Well, lifes gettin no where. Ma eyes haven truly recover! Its so pain ful orights? Cannt look into glaring stuffs. ouChsss...
Life's indeed gettin tougher! Mr chew keeps pushin us 2 break e glass ceiling.. I hope e members 'll be strong enough 2 withstand tis tough training. Well, 4 myself.. Its painful.. but i realize sth, my limits 've gone higher. Ttz a gd thing.. COS I "LL BELIEVE I CAN DO IT.. Yeas!! Kekex. Tiz e toughest song yt eva played in history orights? gddie mans... hope we cann make it in2 top 5?/ hehex. *dreamssssss Heex
i'll stop here.. "ll add in when im free!! YEas..

Love Me Cos I Love Ya!